Mucous, Margins, and Magic

Dearest student,
            First of all, I must commend you on your decision to take AP English.  As a rising high school junior, you have inevitably heard rumor after rumor about the class flying around the hallways like a tiny particle of contaminated mucous expelled from someone's nose after an explosive sneeze.  Like such a germ, these rumors are highly contagious and tend to multiply rapidly.  So, yes, I realize that you probably feel scared out of your mind, as you should.  You're in for a wild ride.  So, with that in mind, I would like to take this time to offer you a bit of advice to ensure your success in AP English 11 and 12.
         After approximately eighty minutes of staring blankly at my computer screen, compulsively downloading a multitude of country music that I will probably never listen to from a sketchy website, and lurking around on Facebook, I have alas come to the conclusion that I have failed to abide by first bit of advice to you: do NOT procrastinate.  Do not wait until Wednesday at 8:00 to start thinking about your blog due at midnight.  Do not wait to do your reading or memorize quotes until the period before English class.  Not only because of the stress that it will inevitably cause you, but also because it will keep you from performing to your true potential.  Trust me, you can do more than you realize.  Which brings me to my second piece of advice: you need to feel confident in yourself and in your abilities in order to succeed in AP English.  Yes, I understand and acknowledge that this may present some serious difficulties, especially throughout the first few quarters of your first year of English, when your self-esteem will likely reach an all-time low. Unfortunately, the only consolation I can offer will appear sometime during your senior year--something will click.  Ms. Serensky will hand back that one essay that you actually felt semi-happy with. And it will have a sticker on it.  Yes, a sticker.  Maybe even two or three. Soon, you will come to realize that little on this earth beats that rush of pride and satisfaction when you see that sticker that says "Good Work!" in bright, bold colors plastered strategically on the margins of your essay. (Speaking of margins, do not try to do anything clever with them to buy yourself more space in your essays.  Ms. Serensky WILL notice.) But, in order to get to that point, you need to work.  Hard.  Because it will not come easily.  Not at all.  Do not enter AP English thinking that somehow, some way, Ms. Serensky will just magically teach you how to write and you will understand and proceed to write flawless paper after flawless paper.  Because you will not.  I have found that Ms. Serensky's first priority somewhat ironically does not lie in teaching us to write, but rather in teaching us how to think.  Once we master that, the writing will come.  She knows that, and you need to realize it too.  So, embrace your ever-changing mind as it grows to think critically and analytically.  Learn to enjoy over-thinking everything (except your English assignments). Learn to deal with failure.  Let your failures shape you, not only into a better writer, but also into a better person.  Believe it or not, English class will change you.  For good.  (Almost) like magic.