"Hey Joe!" yelled Fred, from the stall across the hall,
"Check Twitter! Jon posted a picture of his poop, and it looks great and all--"
"HEY!" interjected Jon, from the stall next to Joe's,
"Follow the rules! No talking about the poop log while on the toilet! You know how this goes!"
"But dude!" gushed Joe, "That poop! It looks perfect--round, thick, practically flawless!
You must feel so proud! But... That smell... it makes me nauseous..."
And with a sudden clatter and shifting of a lock, Joe had flown the coop.
"What a wimp!" exclaimed an irritated Jon. "So much for our group poop!"
Nothing but a prolonged silence greeted his exasperated remark,
Until Fred, glowing with pride, bellowed, "MINE LOOKS LIKE A GREAT WHITE SHARK!"
First of all, I genuinely hope everyone reading this feels as uncomfortable as I did writing it. And yes, I have indeed based this off of a true story. As a camp counselor, I spend a week of my summer alongside many young children and very much enjoy watching them interact with each other. Sadly, the rather disturbing interactions that I describe in the poem take place among the high school- and college-aged male counselors, not the children. Of course, in creating this literary masterpiece, I intended to make the reader feel as uncomfortable as possible. To do so, I indirectly characterized all of the characters--Joe, Fred, and Jon--as enthusiastic and devoted to their mission to have a "group poop" and maintain a "poop log" on Twitter. Their enthusiasm toward such an objectively undesirable activity evokes pathos, arousing feelings of discomfort and discontent in those comparatively normal individuals who choose to entertain themselves at camp by, say, hiking or swimming, instead of hosting group defecation sessions in the boy's bathroom. Additionally, the eulogistic and admiring tone that Joe uses when describing Jon's picture highlights his fascination with the camp tradition that they have initiated and indicates a potentially unhealthy obsession with his defecation diaries.
Victoria, I must say that you have left me rather speechless. Not because I do not believe your story, but because you had the guts to talk about poop in an English blog. This delightfully immature and disgustingly uncomfortable post reveals a new side of your personality, and your ability to talk freely about taboo bodily functions demonstrates a great amount of courage. You stuck with the classic potty humor, and it served you well. It also reminded me vaguely of a tale from one of Judy Blume's Fudge books.
ReplyDeleteI am not surprised. After you mentioned that you decided to write about poop I knew you would utilize potty humor to create an uncomfortable poem. You have met my expectations once again. I really enjoyed the last line of the poem, "Until Fred, glowing with pride, bellowed, '"MINE LOOKS LIKE A GREAT WHITE SHARK!"' For me this line hilighted the crude situation of "the poop group" discussing their poop will only stalls separating them.
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