The Absence of Light

     I associate everything with colors. Everything. Every number, letter and word has its own specific color in my mind. I have no idea how this strange little phenomenon started, and frankly I thought I would grow out of it. But... that has yet to happen.  Each color, to me, has its own special qualities and sparks unique feelings in each place in which it exists--each color but gray. For some reason, gray seems like it represents absence--absence of light, absence of feeling, absence of happiness. The color of neutrality and sorrow.  For these reasons, and also due to the fact that the book's cover is gray, I think gray seems like the most appropriate color for the novel. While I did enjoy reading The Submission by Amy Waldman, I found several aspects of the story line extremely disturbing. As a student who will take my third year of Arabic this fall, I found the stereotypes and prejudices against Muslims, or even people who simply look like Muslims, shocking and saddening. I realize that Waldman wrote this as a work of fiction, but I know that some of these stereotypes still exist today (Ironically, when I think of the word "stereotype," I think of the color gray).  I found one moment particularly saddening: When Khan decided that, in order for the American population to fully accept his monument, he needed to "downplay any Islamic influence" (245). For anyone to feel that they need to hide their culture and ethnic background in order to gain the approval of others makes me extremely uncomfortable. The fact that he chose to do this to appeal to his American audience also embarrasses me and makes me feel inexplicably guilty. Guilt, to me, also has an aura of gray surrounding it. I also felt guilty when Claire Burwell, one of the sole supporters of Khan's monument, announced that "'Americans, many of them, are afraid'" (268). Fear, in addition to guilt, has an aura of gray surrounding it.  Fear, guilt, and the absences of happiness and light seemed to swirl around throughout the novel.  Additionally, when I imagine skyscrapers or big cities in general, I think of gray--it not only represents the color of most buildings but also the color of pavement and therefore the color of the absence of nature. I felt that absences played a subtle yet essential role in this novel--as I read, I found references to the absence of toleration, the absence of peace, the absence of empathy, the absence of acceptance and the absence of enlightenment, all of which hold that constant, depressing aura of gray.